What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
