Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
