White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
