You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
