There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
