I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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