don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
