I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
