apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
