Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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