my mouth tastes like poor choices
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
