It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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