New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
