shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
