you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
