I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
