is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
