Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
