I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
50% drunk capacity currently
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
