Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
