it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
