I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
