I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
