discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dear god my vagina.
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