It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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