I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
