Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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