So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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