she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm too high and old for this...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
