AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
