I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
3 2 1 whiskey
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
