You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
