Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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