Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she peed on how many people?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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