so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
