i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
