then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
