Non-Jews are for practice
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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