Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
