It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
