what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
