is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Help. Why am I so naked?
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