I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm at about main and main street
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
