I am puke
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
