In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
