with your own penis?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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