We won't sleep together?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
