Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just googled if crying burns calories
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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