I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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