Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
