3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
