I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
