Cold hands, warm shart.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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