He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
