I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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