what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize